Rating: Cartoon (-2), zombies done wrong (-1000). Looks like -1002.
Friday, November 5, 2010
David Reviews...Plants Vs. Zombies (iPhone Version)
Real zombies in real life do not eat leafy greens and drive zambonis. I am an expert on this subject because I am a hipster.
Labels:
David,
gardening of the dead,
hipsterism,
plants,
video game,
zambonis,
zombies,
zomboners
Thursday, October 28, 2010
David Reviews...Costume Quest
You get to dress up as things like this and the Statue of Liberty. No worries though; they become cool looking in battle.
Rating: Anything can happen on Halloween
Monday, October 25, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
David Reviews...Playing Rock Shows
This is the scariest thing you'll ever do. And I'm no longer talking about playing rock shows.
Rating: 666
Labels:
666,
David,
dildoes,
dildos,
music,
playing rock shows,
that chick from Tinsel Teeth
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
David Reviews...Metroid: Other M
If you liked Super Metroid or the newer Metroid Prime series, you'll enjoy Other M. They took those two series', haphazardly glued them together, and pissed on them.
Rating: 1 Ruined Franchise
Labels:
David,
Gigantic Boobs,
Metroid,
Other M,
Team Ninja,
video game,
whiny brats
Friday, August 20, 2010
Ron Reviews... David, Ron, and Clock
This is the 6th image found when Google Image Searching "David Ron and Clock". David is on the left, Ron in the center, and Clock on the right.
Rating: Did I just spoil the identity of clock??????? (I did not)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
David Reviews...Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
If you saw Year One, Youth In Revolt, Paper Heart, Nick & Norak's Infinite Playlist, Juno, or Superbad, don't waste your time on this horse shit.
Rating: Not making a pun about your stupid evil exes.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
David Reviews...Soccer
Brazil needed Pharaoh Man as their goalie. Woulda got less points scored against them.
Rating: Sports
Labels:
Brazil lost,
David,
Megaman Soccer,
pharaoh man,
sports
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Ron Reviews... Balanidhren
Can you locate the spoiler in this picture? Probably only David can.
Rating: I'm not giving you any hints.
Labels:
bala,
balls,
dnd,
dodecahedron,
elf ranger,
good"ish",
Ron,
shield rider
Ron Reviews... Super Mario Galaxy
Sometimes, when all inverted on a planet, it controls just as well as Super Mario 64. That is not a complement.
Rating: 120 stars (probably, I mean, what other number of stars would they use? It's a Mario game.)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
David Reviews...Nintendo 3DS
I prefer glasses because they make me look cool. This system is not for me.
Rating: They just threw a 3 on it.
Labels:
3ds,
David,
glasses are cool,
stupid systems,
video game
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
David Reviews...God of War III
I have a problem with this game and the amount of Gods of War. I'll give you Ares, and maybe Mars, but this is the third!
Rating: Two (Much of a good thing)
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Ron Reviews... David and Ron Ruin the Classics
Also that one Brand New song from their first CD, with those words in it.
Rating: One failed premise out of countless.
Rating: One failed premise out of countless.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
David Reviews...Camping
Lots of cooking things on sticks. Including your own socks and shoes.
Rating: 6 out of 13 eaten rocks
Labels:
bears,
camping,
David,
eating rocks,
wet
Ron Reviews... Plates
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
David Reviews...Mountain Dew Distortion
It's just regular Mountain Dew, which I hate. But it's a majillion times better.
Rating: A trigatillion times better
Labels:
David,
distortion,
drinks,
food,
majillion,
mountain dew distortion,
mtn dew,
trigatillion
Sunday, June 6, 2010
David Reviews...New Wonderous Swans Album
This thing is a FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!
Rating: 4 stars
Labels:
50 cent,
David,
music,
wonderous swans
David Reviews...Showering
I think they maybe use less water than filling up a bath tub. Except I have to stand up.
Rating: Someone needs to create a new option for cleaning, because the two that exist just aren't cutting it.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
David Reviews...Inglourious Basterds
This movie was too damned long. Also, innacurate.
Rating: 100 Nazi Scalps out of 100
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
David Reviews...Photo Dojo
Monday, May 31, 2010
David Reviews...Playing Rock Band in the Intense Heat
Not worrying about whether or not you're going to sweat (because you already are) makes you rock out at least three hundred percent harder!
Rating: 1 full cup of sweat
Labels:
David,
intense heat,
over 9000,
rock band,
sweat,
video game
Sunday, May 30, 2010
David Reviews...All of the Star Wars Films All at Once
I love those two crazy robots! Where's my Timon & Pumba-esque spin-off?
Rating: 2 good movies (4 shit ones)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
David Reviews...Bright Falls
Short and to the point. Like this review.
Rating: Almost as good as LOST.
Labels:
Alan Wake,
Bright Falls,
David,
lost
Friday, May 28, 2010
David Reviews...Drunkeness
I am os drunk right now. I hadf ,like, three or four little wine thingies.
Rating: I actually had thbree of them.
Labels:
David,
drunk,
misspelling
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
David Reviews...Twitter
am eating a sandwich with mah peeps they got sandwiches too #sandwichbitch
Rating: 33 followers
Labels:
33,
David,
sandwichbitch,
twitter,
twitter tags make great jokes,
website
David Reviews...This Photo of a Cat
Whoa! This cat is so damned tough!
Rating: Look out for kitty punches! 5 of 10 on the cuteness scale.
Labels:
cats,
cuteness scale,
David,
kittens,
Kitty,
tough cats
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