David Reviews...Plants Vs. Zombies (iPhone Version)

Real zombies in real life do not eat leafy greens and drive zambonis. I am an expert on this subject because I am a hipster.

Rating: Cartoon (-2), zombies done wrong (-1000). Looks like -1002.

David Reviews...Costume Quest

You get to dress up as things like this and the Statue of Liberty. No worries though; they become cool looking in battle.

Rating: Anything can happen on Halloween

David Reviews...Gamma World

This is not an original idea, WotC. Get off it.

Rating: 1 Nuclear War

David Reviews...Super Meat Boy

This game is too simple. There are no power-ups and no weapon drops.

Rating: Booooooring.

David Reviews...Playing Rock Shows

This is the scariest thing you'll ever do. And I'm no longer talking about playing rock shows.

Rating: 666

David Reviews...Birthdays

I fucking love you guys.

Rating: Chunky

David Reviews...Nintendo Power

It's like Yo Gabba Gabba but in book form.

Rating: Because rapist's love it. 8/10

David Reviews...Apartment Living

Same picture.

Rating: 825 dollars a month

David Reviews...Professor Layton and Some Stuff

More puzzles than you can shake a dick at!

Rating: 34

David Reviews...Halo: Reach

Around.

Rating: Fan Service With A Smile

David Reviews...Metroid: Other M

If you liked Super Metroid or the newer Metroid Prime series, you'll enjoy Other M. They took those two series', haphazardly glued them together, and pissed on them.

Rating: 1 Ruined Franchise

Ron Reviews... David, Ron, and Clock

This is the 6th image found when Google Image Searching "David Ron and Clock". David is on the left, Ron in the center, and Clock on the right.


Rating: Did I just spoil the identity of clock??????? (I did not)

David Reviews...Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

If you saw Year One, Youth In Revolt, Paper Heart, Nick & Norak's Infinite Playlist, Juno, or Superbad, don't waste your time on this horse shit.

Rating: Not making a pun about your stupid evil exes.

Ron Reviews... hospitals

You know, I got a cold last time I went there. Which was yesterday.


Rating: 1-800-705-5797

David Reviews...Modding

This shit is illegal. Don't do it.

Rating: So cool though.

David Reviews...Eating Healthy

Fucking sucks. Lean Cuisine kind of makes it easier.

Rating: $2.99

David Reviews...The Dissolution of Party of Five

This shit is going to be tight.

Rating: Too much Photoshop.

David Reviews...Soccer

Brazil needed Pharaoh Man as their goalie. Woulda got less points scored against them.

Rating: Sports

David Reviews...His Upcoming Announcement

Amazing.

Rating: 5 or 6 Question Marks.

Ron Reviews... Balanidhren

Can you locate the spoiler in this picture? Probably only David can.

Rating: I'm not giving you any hints.

Ron Reviews... Super Mario Galaxy

Sometimes, when all inverted on a planet, it controls just as well as Super Mario 64. That is not a complement.

Rating: 120 stars (probably, I mean, what other number of stars would they use? It's a Mario game.)

Ron Reviews... 3DS

This, without glasses? How does that work?


Rating: glasses are the future

David Reviews...His Adventure! Character, Oswald Mark

He's basically a failed Batman.

Rating: 90 (Years too late)

David Reviews...Adventure!

Advenuring in a mildly alternate 1920's? Sign my ass up!

Rating: 10 cents

David Reviews...Super Mario Bros.

I'm trying to review the game. That's the poster to the movie.

Rating: Rest In Peace Dennis Hopper

David Reviews...Unibroue's La Fin Du Monde

It's beer. It's alright.

Rating: I'd maybe have it again.

David Reviews...Balanidhren's Solo Battle

Imagine this guy following you around in the dark.

Rating: Sex.

David Reviews...Killface's Solo Battle

I was not paying attention at all.

Rating: Rating.

David Reviews...Sobrek's Solo Battle

I actually enjoyed the gimmick. Who knew?

Rating: One (legit) Crit

David Reviews...Andraste's Solo Battle

HAH!

Rating: Zero out of Five

David Reviews...Great Deals for XBox 360s

Not worth the (lack of) money.

Rating: Fifty dollars in the pocket

David Reviews...Nintendo 3DS

I prefer glasses because they make me look cool. This system is not for me.

Rating: They just threw a 3 on it.

David Reviews...Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands

Best PoP game to date. I love all of it.

Rating: 100% (Free game)

David Reviews...God of War III

I have a problem with this game and the amount of Gods of War. I'll give you Ares, and maybe Mars, but this is the third!

Rating: Two (Much of a good thing)

Ron Reviews... Insomnia

It's like a mind-altering drug. But free.


Rating: zero out of the recommended eight

Ron Reviews... Justin Bieber

I hate how it is somehow normal for girls to be given boy names.


Rating: It's Pat

Ron Reviews... David and Ron Ruin the Classics

OHH AH AH AH AH!

Also that one Brand New song from their first CD, with those words in it.


Rating: One failed premise out of countless.

David Reviews...Camping

Lots of cooking things on sticks. Including your own socks and shoes.

Rating: 6 out of 13 eaten rocks

Ron Reviews... Plates

Has potential, but still lacking to the superior bowl. Although this one has some salad permanently attached to it.


Rating: 4 ceramic tomatoes out of 12

David Reviews...Dumb Sluts

Easy to get it the sack, but not worth much else than that.

Rating: 2 giant tits

David Reviews...Mountain Dew Distortion

It's just regular Mountain Dew, which I hate. But it's a majillion times better.

Rating: A trigatillion times better

David Reviews...New Wonderous Swans Album

This thing is a FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!

Rating: 4 stars

David Reviews...Showering

I think they maybe use less water than filling up a bath tub. Except I have to stand up.

Rating: Someone needs to create a new option for cleaning, because the two that exist just aren't cutting it.

Ron Reviews... Jurassic Park (VHS)

Reminds me of Land of the Lost. I think.


Rating: Cha out of Ka

David Reviews...Inglourious Basterds

This movie was too damned long. Also, innacurate.

Rating: 100 Nazi Scalps out of 100

Ron Reviews... Starcraft

Better than II. By some.


Rating: 1998 out of 2010.

David Reviews...Photo Dojo

I get to beat up little girls! Only after having taken lots of pictures of them, though.

Rating: 5 Hitler's Wheelchairs out of 5 Dora The Explorers

David Reviews...This Picture of Kitties

Look at 'em dancing! So majestic.

Rating: 4 Nutcrackers out of 5

David Reviews...Playing Rock Band in the Intense Heat

Not worrying about whether or not you're going to sweat (because you already are) makes you rock out at least three hundred percent harder!

Rating: 1 full cup of sweat

David Reviews...The Eye of Judgment

The camera always stays on. It's looking at me.

Rating: It keeps calling me fat.

David Reviews...All of the Star Wars Films All at Once

I love those two crazy robots! Where's my Timon & Pumba-esque spin-off?

Rating: 2 good movies (4 shit ones)

David Reviews...Bright Falls

Short and to the point. Like this review.

Rating: Almost as good as LOST.

David Reviews...Drunkeness

I am os drunk right now. I hadf ,like, three or four little wine thingies.

Rating: I actually had thbree of them.

David Reviews...Music

Pictures are better.

Rating: I'm bored.

David Reviews...His Absence

I was drunk.

Rating: 4 out of 5

David Reviews...Twitter

am eating a sandwich with mah peeps they got sandwiches too #sandwichbitch

Rating: 33 followers

David Reviews...This Photo of a Cat

Whoa! This cat is so damned tough!

Rating: Look out for kitty punches! 5 of 10 on the cuteness scale.